


i told you so

by buckymyson (trashfinity)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Multi, Polyamory, Pregnancy, although its kinda background, and somewhat necessary, but its still there, but oops dont give a shit, idk im just trash, idk what else to say i just felt like adding one more, isnt very important, it mentions a wedding once, my 30th work and no idea how to tag, this is probably a bit of a sin, well the situation of the relationship, what is this no marriage proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 12:37:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7361761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashfinity/pseuds/buckymyson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re not disappointed?” Philip asks hopefully.</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m very disappointed. But it’s your life and I haven’t had a say in what you do with it since the day you moved out,” he says with a sigh. “Plus, it doesn’t seem like Frances will be giving me grandkids anytime soon.”</p>
<p>“You do realize that you will have a grandchild a few months younger than your youngest kid, right?”</p>
<p>“I’m choosing not to think about that right now.”</p>
<p>“That’s probably a good idea.”</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>or: the one where Philip doesn't listen to his parents (and neither does Frances) when they tell them about safe sex and is now in a predicament</p>
            </blockquote>





	i told you so

**Author's Note:**

> idk what to say
> 
> not super important but alex/john/eliza is a triad (so its alex/john, alex/eliza, and eliza/john) not a V cuz headcanon that Phil is John's kid cuz doublecasting
> 
> Philip is 20, Theo 18, Frances 25, Alexander 47, Eliza 44, John 47, and it doesnt matter for everyone else
> 
> Alex/AJ means Alexander Jr, Alexander means everyone's favorite problematic fav  
> JC is John Church Hamilton  
> Lizzie is Eliza Jr
> 
> I don't own Hamilton and this is total trash but hope you enjoy :)
> 
> not super proud but I wrote it a while ago and needed to post it

All throughout his life, Philip’s been told to be careful. “Don’t climb that tree” and “put that rock down” were the most common phrases of his mother’s vocabulary, until he turned fifteen and showed an interest in girls. Then his mother and fathers tag-teamed to remind him every chance they got to “use protection” and “don’t feel pressured because you’re a teenager” and “don’t get anyone pregnant until you’re married,” which was annoying at the time, because no teenager wants to have the safe sex talk with their parents, but now holds some truth.

And although he’ll never admit it, Philip really wishes he’d taken his parents advice about protection one more time. Not because he regrets getting his girlfriend of five months pregnant, but because his parents will use the “I told you so” trick and make him regret ever having sex, which is not something he wants to feel.

If he’s played his cards right though, Frances will have something important like graduation or marriage or syphilis to distract his parents and get him off the hook before his mom can even grab him by the scruff of his neck. (That’s the advantage of having a sister with parental issues; she always has something to say that relieves the pressure from the rest of them. It totally sucks for Frances, but Philip doesn’t use her to his advantage much, and he needs a break. So it’ll just have to suck for his older sister tonight.)

Friday night dinners are a regular occurrence in the Hamilton-Schuyler-Laurens household. It’s the one night a week that the entire family (all eleven of them) eats together in the dining room with proper cutlery and a non-microwaveable meal. The only exception is if one is out of the state or if his dad is on call at the hospital. His dad has the night off though, and everyone else is still in the city, so it’s a full house tonight. Philip’s not entirely sure if that’s a good thing, because that’s more people to explain to why he and his almost-nineteen year old girlfriend – that happens to be Aaron Burr’s daughter – are keeping their baby.

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” Phil says, stopping halfway up the path to the front door. He holds his arm out, preventing Theo from getting ahead.

“Philip Hamilton, we are not avoiding this any longer. I am four and a half months pregnant, and our child will be a toddler before you tell your family, and I refuse to let that happen. We are having dinner with your parents and siblings and sharing the news or so help me god I will break up with you.”

Theodosia Burr is not one to be messed with, so Philip concedes and walks up to the front door, hand in hand with his girlfriend. It’s nerve-wracking, being in this position, having such big and controversial news that will change all of their lives forever. His parents have always been supportive, but what if they draw the line at him becoming a dad so young, or him not being married? Philip’s the oldest Hamilton, and the second oldest of all the kids, so this has never been attempted before. (Not to judge his sister, but he’s a little surprised that Frances hasn’t gone through this yet, because it’s no secret about how many men have passed through her apartment.) For all Phil knows, his mom could disown him for this.

Being the wonderful girlfriend she is, Theo notices his hesitation to go inside and talks some words of comfort into him. “Everything will be fine, Pip. I’ve never met your parents, but they sound very loving and helpful. They won’t abandon you just because I’m pregnant. And even if they do, I’m right here, and am not going anywhere,” she promises. Her hand strokes his arm, delivering warmth through his veins.

One of the many things Philip loves about his girlfriend is her ability to comfort anyone, and make them feel safe and loved. Kindness is not one of her things; Theo will be blunt with everyone, no matter what her opinion is. But if someone needs a warm hug or supportive words, she’s right there. If Phil’s nerves start to fray from stress, Theodosia is by his side, offering her help. When she told him the news and he freaked out, she dropped her concerns about her own life and stood by Philip until he settled. He doesn’t deserve someone as great as her, but he’s selfish and is never going to give her up.

Once calm, Philip twists the doorknob and opens the door, hearing the familiar squeak of the rusty hinges. Instantly, feet pound the hardwood floor, small shadows being cast against the caramel walls. Even though he hasn’t lived at home for two years, Phil can still determine who’s careening down the halls to see him. (Will has quick and heavy footsteps, while JC has agile and quiet ones. Lizzie doesn’t so much walk as toddle, and James prefers to sneak down the halls to avoid contact with other human beings. Alex prances around like he owns the place, and Angie scuffs her shoes to piss off her classmates and teachers from their private school that expect her to walk like a lady.) Today, there’s a mix of noisy elephants and silent ninjas, so Phil knows it’s Will and James before he can even take his shoes off.

Rounding the corner, Will, James, and his dad come into view, which is a little shocking because John walks swiftly but loudly and Phil doesn’t remember hearing a herd of surgeons in the hall. But it’s too late to think about his hearing abilities because Will attacks his leg while James slings his arm around Phil’s shoulder. His dad stands back, eyes focused on Theo.

And there goes his entire plan to get Franny to cover for him.

With shaking hands, he pulls Will off his leg and shrugs James’s arm off his shoulder. Stepping towards Theo, he reaches out to grab her hand, using it like a lifeboat in the middle of an angry ocean.

“Hey dad,” Philip greets, scratching the back of his neck. He waits for the accusing looks John Laurens is famous for. Unlike his pops, who will scream for hours, Phil’s dad prefers to use passive looks to get his point across. After twenty years, he still isn’t sure which is worse.

“Philip,” John replies, voice sharp.

There’s an awkward pause while Philip avoids his father’s gaze and John stares coldly at his eldest son’s head. Cautiously, Will and James retreat to the living room, no doubt running to find their mother. Eliza is the only one who can talk things through calmly and rationally, and she’s always been the deal-breaker between two arguing parties.

Theo takes a deep breath and holds out her hand. “Theodosia Burr, but please, call me Theo. It’s very nice to meet you, sir.”

Phil watches from the corner of his eye as John shakes Theo’s hand.

“Likewise,” John says with a genuine smile.

Another awkward pause passes while father and son wait for the other to speak first after Theo excuses herself to meet the rest of the family.

“Look, we were gonna tell you,” Philip says, breaking first. The silence was uncomfortable, and he hates fighting with his parents. “It’s just – we’re still really young and I don’t think we have plans to get married anytime soon and your approval means a lot and I –“

John claps Philip’s shoulder, eyes sparkling. “Son, it’s alright!”

And suddenly, the weight of the world is lifted off his shoulders, as cliché as it sounds.

“You’re not disappointed?” Philip asks hopefully.

“Oh, I’m very disappointed. But it’s your life and I haven’t had a say in what you do with it since the day you moved out,” he says with a sigh. “Plus, it doesn’t seem like Frances will be giving me grandkids anytime soon.”

“You do realize that you will have a grandchild a few months younger than your youngest kid, right?”

“I’m choosing not to think about that right now.”

“That’s probably a good idea.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

By the time Phil makes it to the living room, Theo is already well acquainted with his mother, who is delighted to have another woman around. A daughter trying to keep up her three-point-eight GPA and a two year old don’t make for the best company most days. Angie, being the over-protective younger sister she always is, bombards Theo with as many in-depth and detailed questions as possible, while Lizzie babbles in Theo’s arms. The teenagers are watching some dumb action movie on TV, while JC reads in the corner and Will plays with some Lego. It’s a typical night in the Hamilton household, and Philip feels at home.

“Do you have plans to get married anytime soon?” Angie inquiries.

“We’ve only been dating for five months, Ange,” Philip cuts in, taking his place beside his girlfriend.

Theo nods. “It’s a little soon to be thinking about marriage.”

“I mean, I love Theo, and she is the best thing to happen to me, but we have time to think about a wedding. We only have a few months before we’re parents, so there are some priorities.”

“You could always elope,” Angie suggests with a shrug. “It worked for Aunt Angelica and Aunt Peggy.”

“They also weren’t twenty and parents-to-be,” Philip retorts.

“Who’s a parent-to-be?” a voice calls from the front entrance, a lilting British accent that can only be one person.

Frances enters seconds later, carrying a large bag of gifts. Dropping it on the ground beside JC’s chair, she reveals what appears to be a small bulge, not dissimilar to that of Theo’s.

“You, I’m guessing. Or maybe you’ve been having too much gravy with those biscuits,” Philip quips, nodding his head at the bump.

“They’re called scones,” Frances corrects with a huff. “And you’re one to talk, Phil. Trying to make a food baby to go along with that real one in your girlfriend’s womb?”

“I haven’t had time to go to the gym lately,” he says defensively. “And I am not fat. I just no longer have a six-pack.”

Theo grabs Philip’s shoulder, switching Lizzie to her hip and smiling sympathetically. “Sweetie, you’ve never had a six-pack.”

“I did before I met you,” he grumbles.

With a smirk, Frances makes her way over to the group, drawing the attention of the middle Hamilton children along the way. Will is blissfully ignorant to everyone else, and Lizzie is too busy grabbing at Theo’s hair to see her big sister approaching. Alex and James, however, are pulled from their movie to see Frances and openly gape, not bothering with any sort of decency. It’s like they’ve never seen a pregnant woman before. (Considering they have three younger siblings, they obviously have. Not to mention there’s an eighth Hamilton currently on the way. Although with it being Frances, Phil understands their shock. The last person anyone expected to have a kid is Frances. It doesn’t make it any less rude, though.)

“Honey, I’m home!” his dad announces, walking into the living room. Seeing the gaggle of three pregnant women, he stops short.

John approaches from the kitchen, stopping beside Alexander in the entrance to the living room. “What the – Frances?”

“So, dad, you were wrong but am I still off the hook? Potentially?”

Shaking his head, John says, “I’m still trying to not to think about it.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Dinner is awkward, to say the least. Angie, Theo, and his mother try and keep up the conversation, but his dads are so flabbergasted, as JC likes to say, that all they can do is sit and stare. Any answers they give are one-worded, and their eyes never stray far from Theo or Frances. AJ and James are busy texting, which is usually forbidden, but no one is paying them any attention. JC is reading, not even trying to hide his book, and Lizzie and Will aren’t even eating at the table.

“So, Theo, what does your father think of this whole situation?” Eliza asks, twirling some pasta onto her fork.

“He’s been surprisingly supportive, actually. He’s already planning on setting up a college fund for the little one.”

Not so subtly, Alexander leans over and whispers, “Who’s her father?” in John’s ear.

John shrugs, not having made the connection after hearing Theo’s last name.

Eliza sighs. “You two are useless.”

“My father is Aaron Burr, sir.”

Forks clatter onto plates, food forgotten completely. Even AJ stops what he’s doing, and it takes bribes of twenty dollars to get him off his phone on a good day.

“Choosing not to think about it,” John chants, avoiding everyone’s gaze by staring at his plate. “Not thinking about it.”

“Not thinking about what?” Alexander asks.

“The fact that his youngest kid will have at least one nephew the same age as them, probably,” Frances answers with a shrug, shovelling a mouthful of spaghetti into her mouth. “Or that his daughter-in-law is related to Aaron Burr.”

With wide eyes, Alexander joins in, chanting “not thinking about it” over the rest of the table.

Ignoring her partners, Eliza turns to Frances. “You’re having a boy?”

Frances nods. “And I was thinking of naming him John, after the only other important man in my life.”

Like a dog seeing a squirrel, John immediately quiets at the sound of his name and turns to his daughter. “You’d really do that?” he asks, astounded.

It’s no secret that Frances and John have problems. She had been completely accidental and not wanted by either parent at first, but Frances’s mom stuck by her daughter, even when John left. Until her mother died and she was forced to move to America to be with her closest living relative, Frances detested her father. But Eliza changed that when Frances got to New York, and now they have a somewhat awkward, albeit loving relationship. Still, they are not the closest a father and daughter have ever been, and sometimes John tries too hard to be a father to her, when all Frances really needs is a friend, so hearing that Frances wants to name her son after her father is a huge step for them.

“I mean, sure, Alex has been a cool step-dad, and I would never trade my brothers for anyone else, not even another sister, but you’re my dad,” she says nonchalantly, as if it the statement doesn’t mean the world to either of them.

“Well, don’t expect me to name our kid after any of you. There can only be so many Alex’s and John’s and Eliza’s in the world,” Philip says, shovelling a forkful of food into his mouth.

“You know, Frances can be used for anyone.”

“Frances is a dumb name and you know it,” John proclaims. “Your mother had bad taste.”

“She did try to make me wear a flower dress to the first day of school one year. And I’m talking eighties floral, like what you would see in your grandmother’s living room. Funnily enough, it was quite similar to my grandma’s couch.”

Everyone at the table laughs, except for Alexander, who is still chanting the same four words to himself.

“Alex? Sweetie?” Eliza prompts.

“Alex dear,” John says, snapping his fingers in front of Alexander’s face.

“Did we not tell them to use protection? Or did I just imagine that?” he asks, having been woken from his lull of chanting.

“No, we did,” John confirms, “but when have they ever listened to us?”

“And we tell you we’re happy just the six of us, but when have you ever listened to us?” Philip retorts.

“Touché.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Wait, Frances, who’s the father?”

“An asshole named Thomas who is never seeing this kid if I have anything to say about it. Not that he cares.”

“What’s his full name?” Philip asks, reaching into his pocket for his phone. “I wanna look this guy up.”

“Uh, I think it’s Thomas Adams? He’s from Boston, I think, or some place in that annoying state. He’s a lawyer, and I think his dad was a politician.”

“NO!” Alexander yells, scraping his chair on the floor as he stands up. “I am not thinking about it!”

Frances furrows her brow. “What’s gotten into him?”

“You slept with John Adams’ son,” Angie answers bluntly, looking up from her phone. “And man, I never thought it’d get worse than Theodosia Burr. Sorry, Theo.”

John starts chanting again, and this time, Eliza joins him. (All three are very responsible parents with the same burning hatred for John Adams and his family. It’s a completely reasonable response to this news.)

“Are you sure you don’t want to leave forever?”

“I’m quite sure,” Theo says with a laugh, clearly entertained with the antics of his family. “I love you too much.”

And in true Hamilton fashion, everyone is too concerned with Frances and her earth-shattering news to notice when Philip and Theo sneak off to his childhood bedroom. He has to find a way to thank his sister.

Philip also doesn’t have time to think about that, because Theo has started feeling a little sexually deprived in her second trimester, and he’s the only one available to satisfy her needs, and thinking of his sister and her demon spawn is not something he wants in his head when his girlfriend is more than willing to get things started.

(When they make it through the night without ever getting interrupted, Philip decides he really needs to find a way to thank Frances. Maybe some therapy for his nephew, since being related to an Adams is the worst thing that could happen to anyone. Ever. It’s even worse than the amount of times his parents tell him “I told you so” the next day, and that is not an experience anyone should have to go through.

And Philip counted the number of times one of his parents said anything remotely close to “I told you so.” He lost count after eighty.)


End file.
